Stop Pretending
by krissm
Summary: Seeing Quinn act so perfect finally pushes Puck over the edge.


He stood, watching her walk down the hall like nothing had happened. Like the past year had been a lie, something he made up in his mind. He knew that wasn't true, because every night before he went to sleep, all he could think about was her. The way she had felt in his arms, the way her kiss tastes, the way her body arched against his as he ran his hand from her thigh to her face, grasping it and pulling her closer to him. He had never wanted anyone so badly in his life.

He remembered at the hospital, after Beth had been born, asking himself if he truly loved her. He had thought about lying to himself and saying he didn't. He thought hard about it. Then something inside his mind clicked. Why was he running, again? He loved her, even before they created Beth, even before she was dating Finn. He had loved her from afar, thinking that someone like her would never love someone like him.

But what was so bad about him, he thought. He could treat her right. He could make her happy. They could keep Beth and he could make them both happy. So he asked, "Do you wanna keep her?", wishing, praying that she'd say yes. If she said yes than that meant she felt the same way, but instead "No. Do you?" was all that came out. Feeling the tears burn away at his throat all he could so was shake his head. Inside his mind he was screaming YES, but he'd never let her know that. So when she asked, "Did you love me?", he decided to swallow back the burning in his throat and be completely honest, for the first time in his life. "Yes. Especially now." was all he could think of.

Now, here he stood, watching her, like he always did. Seeing her act like this always upset him. Beth meant something to him, SHE means something to him. Gathering up all the courage he had in his body, he started forward, calling out for her as he moved.

"Quinn." he said, not very loudly. But she kept on walking, not even noticing him. "Quinn!" he said again, only this time louder. A few people turned and looked at him but he didn't care, he was on a mission. "QUINN FABRAY!" he yelled, this time.

She stopped dead in her tracks. Feeling her heart jump she turned around, already knowing who it was. Standing there, out of breath and waiting for her to say something. "What Puckerman?" was all she could think of.

Seeing his face, his eyes, change as the words left her mouth and she instantly wanted to take them back. She wasn't mad at him, she actually didn't know how she felt about him. She tried not to think about those days so much anymore. It had upset her at first, all she did was cry about it all summer. She missed Puck, as much as she hated to admit it. He made her feel loved and wanted. She thought it was just because of Beth, but even after her birth, he still wanted that relationship with her.

She would catch him staring at her, though he would just as quickly look away as she had caught him. She would see the glances he gave her in the hallways, she saw the way he looked at her when she walked passed without acknowledging he was there, or the way he'd look at her when someone would sing a song about love in Glee club. Truth was, she noticed them all, because she was doing them too. She would look at him when he walked passed her in the halls, and she would think of him when someone sung about love in Glee. She couldn't help it, her mind would just go there.

She had wished for so long that he would do something, act on his feelings and now, here he was, standing in front of her, doing just that. And all she could do was make him feel like it was a mistake, but it wasn't. Not to her, at least. But she didn't want him to know that.

"Quinn, what are you doing?" he demanded, the feeling of rejection leaving his eyes.

"I'm going to class, what you should be doing." she turned to leave. She could barely even look at his face let alone in his eyes.

"That's not what I meant." he said, grabbing her arm to stop her from leaving. He knew she wanted this just as much as he did. He could see it in her eyes, deep down she needed this. "What are you doing with your life? Why are you pretending like we didn't have a baby. Like Beth doesn't exist."

All she could do was take a step back, making his hold on her arm drop. How dare he think that of her. That she could even feel like that. After all, she was the one that gave birth to Beth.

"Ever since school started, you just act like your shit doesn't stink. Well guess what sweetheart, it does! You walk around like you don't feel shit but I know you, Q. I know you feel something for her. About your daughter. About OUR daughter. Or did you forget?"

Puck could see the pain building in her eyes as his words left his mouth. All he could think was good. She needed this. She needed him to tell her how it was, because he was the only one that would.

"How DARE you! I think about Beth every day! For those few moments I held her, I felt that she was mine. That she was ours. I loved her, and I have loved her every day since then. I pray for her safety every night before I go to sleep, then I lay there and cry. Sometimes I cry because of her but mostly because you're not there. Why haven't you been there?" she stopped realizing what she had just said. She could feel the hot wetness on her cheeks but she couldn't hold it in any longer. Putting her books over her face, she turned and ran to the girls restroom. Somewhere she knew he couldn't follow her.

He couldn't feel his legs. As soon as he heard those words, "Why haven't you been there?", he lost all feeling in his body. Why hadn't she told him she wanted him there. Running to catch up with her, he sees her run into the restroom. The girls restroom. He could get Rachel to go in there after her, but that would make it worse. Instead, he decides that he's gonna go in there himself. Get her to come out, no matter what it takes.

Sitting on the toilet, in the bathroom stall, she can't stop the tears from coming. Why had she just said that? Was that how she really felt? She really wanted Puck to be there for her, to comfort her and hold her when she cried. Of course she did, she loved him. She must not of heard the door open cause she jumped when she heard her name.

"Quinn?" she heard, but it wasn't a girls voice. It was Puck's. "Q, are you in here?" she didn't want to talk to him, not right now. So she stayed quiet, hoping he'd just give up and go away, like he did with everything.

"I'm not going away. I'll stay in here all day if I have to." he said, and she knew he meant it. Wiping her tear stained cheeks, she unlocked the stall and walked out to face him. She must not of heard him because he was sitting on the counter, waiting for her.

Jumping down from the counter he looked at her for a moment, before saying anything. "You can't just say something like that and expect me to just walk away and forget it was ever said. You can't do that to me."

"Why not?" was all she could think of to say.

"Because," he said, walking closer to her, "what if I had something to say to you. What if I had something to say to what said?"

"You can say it now." she said, looking down at her feet. She didn't want to look in his eyes. She couldn't take rejection, or yelling, he might yell at her and she couldn't take that right now.

"I was gonna say," he stepped closer, placing his hand on her cheek, rubbing his thumb where a tear had been falling, "that I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I didn't love you how you wanted. I'm sorry I wasn't enough."

She looked up at him, at that moment, right into his eyes. That's not what she meant at all. She never thought that about him. Lifting her hand and placing it on her face, on top of his, she smiled. "Puck, you were always enough for me."

Putting his free hand on her cheek, he stepped closer, smiling down at her. He had waited so long to hear her say that. Only one thing would make this better for him. Inching his face closer to hers, he stopped right above her lips. His lips centimeters from hers. Taking a deep breath, he said the only thing he could think of.

"I love you, Q." he whispered.

Her eyes fluttered shut as she heard him say that. Those three little words she'd always wanted. She couldn't help having to catch her breath, he did that to her sometimes. Moving her hand from her face to wrap them both around his waist, she said the only thing she could think of. The only thing that had been playing in her head since he had called her name.

"I love you, Puck." and as the words left her lips, she felt his lips brush against hers ever so slightly, making her heart jump. That's when she knew, there was no more pretending for her. How she felt was real and she couldn't push it again any longer.


End file.
